Once Upon a Time I Wrote a Long List

Once upon a time...

I wore a powder blue dress with airy pleats and velvet flowers.

I smashed an orange brick to powder, sprinkled on my brother, and declared him a carrot.

I found packets of photographic chemicals under the eaves of the attic and strongly contemplated eating them.

I smashed vintage tin trains as flat as can be with a brick, I then threw them away in the trash can in the alley because I became afraid.

I stole a quarter and ran with exhilaration to the corner store to buy white bread because I never ate Wonder Bread before.   Snuck to the back of the closet to ball up and eat all the pieces.

I woke up at night in my nylon blanket in a corner of my room.  Weird feeling.

I learned to identify edible mushrooms in a forest. 

I tried to avoid wearing glasses.  My dad tested my eyes by pointing to dates on the calendar.  I quickly counted the blurs and gave him the correct answers.  Optometrist said my eyes were clear as glass but nearsighted.

Classmates made fun of my cats eye glass, hair, teeth.

I thought dolls came alive at night.  I was scared of being awake when that happened.

I pulled my 6-year-old brother up as he was sliding down a muddy, slick bank of a swollen, churning creek.

I put salt instead of sugar into a pitcher of tea.  I did not admit I did it.  There were plenty of other suspects present.

I was paraded from classroom to classroom by school principal who announced--this is the kid whose dad just died.

I was not paying attention and principal hit me in the head with a big, heavy book.  Later she and the pastor married and moved to Florida.

At the lake, I gave my name and address to 2 boys who then harassed me.

I was short 17 cents to take train home. 

I was pickpocketed from an open bag as I squeezed past teens at back door of bus.  Figured out a week later.  Pickpocketed from pocket of pant on crowded bus. Saw giant hand reaching into petite lady's pocket. Warned her.

Mother and aunts handmade down comforter as anticipated wedding present,  I did not marry that person.  I noticed he spelled my name wrong on birthday card.

I did not marry man who could not remember my birthday in seven years.

I did not marry guy who clambered aboard bus ahead of me.

I got an email at work not to drink the water as it was compromised.

###