Wedding List Deconstructed--A Walk Up Anxiety Aisle

As if.

Finding the hidden. Fallow moment at work, trimmed plant leaves, looked at shelf--undated yellow legal pad.   First page takes me back 20 years to planning our wedding.  List starts with church which was under renovation (so plastic sheeting and scaffolding was part of décor), banquet hall/crystal room for 200 people, painted blue roses on ceramic centerpiece, guest priest--archdiocese had trouble verifying his credentials, DJ brought many protégés.  In reception hall I was by myself greeting guests, husband pressed in to service elsewhere.  

Wilton party favors--had trouble remembering if/what I might have ordered, but each cost $5.35.  Maybe silver-toned picture frames?  I kept one for us.  Picture of dear husband in jean jacket and black hair circa 1994.   

Amazon Dry goods catalogue $17.00  I wonder if I was considering a dress pattern or shoes? 
Toshiro, Hubba Hubba Vintage--now closed. 
Laura Ashley with a crossed through number--disconnected.
Jessica McClintock, asked bridesmaids to buy sky blue prom dresses from there, difficulty in finding one for everyone.  Maid of honor found a coordinating one, some relatives body shamed her for going braless.

I found my wedding dress at I Do Consignment, still in business. Tried on one lacy dress that fit like a glove.  But fell in love hard with a 1940s satin dress originally made for super tall and super thin bride.  Top was remade by seamstress with a sailors collar.  Material take from long training tail.  She made up veil as well.  Very pretty but fittings stressful.  Probably would have been just as happy with the lacy one.  Left behind pair of gray leggings from Contempo which I missed.

Went to consignment shop as dress I previously ordered from overseas was disappointing.  Built around a bra that wasn't even my size.  My head was so turned around I didn't refuse it and paid for it to long lasting regret. 

Reserving block of rooms for out of town guests--not used as downstate relatives made 12-hour round trip without sleepover.  So many guests--a number of them have since passed away, multiple cancers, heart attacks, old age.  A number passed from acquaintance.  I remember being panicky when my mother and husband's mother each made list of guests that exceeded capacity.  The painful process of whittling down.  Husband and I each broke out in boils, in hidden spots at least. Torrential rain on reception night with flooding, leak in hall roof, elevator and bathrooms out of order,  guests read love poems under umbrella. 

Lucky rain tradition in Brazil.  Lucky for us. Lucky in love.